Posted by MH on November 18, 2001 at 17:40:07:
In preparation for the all-new MH Comics, coming soon, here is, reprinted for the first time in over 60 years, Rampant American Comics#3, featuring the first appearance of MH, 40's Comics Fan!
First Case: "Meet MH!"
At a posh, uptown movie theater, MH and his Uncle Louis depart following the main feature.
MH:"Gosh, Uncle Louis, wasn't that picture great? Edward Gardner must be the greatest actor alive!"
Uncle Louis:"MH, my lad, you're a treasure. But didn't those newsreels bother you?"
MH:"You mean the ones about the Nazis invading Europe? Well, golly, sure they did! Gee, there's nothing I'd like more than to be a soldier like my Uncle Dave, or a super-hero like Burning Boy!"
Uncle Louis:"Perhaps there is a way, my lad."
Uncle Louis and MH are suddenly pulled inside a taxi cab and whisked away!
MH:"Gosh, what's happening? Are we being kidnapped?"
Uncle Louis:"No, my boy, we aren't being kidnapped. These men are on our side, waiting for my signal."
MH:"Your signal for what?"
Uncle Louis:"You'll see, my boy, you'll see."
The taxi cab brings the lad and his uncle to a beaten-up old shack on the wrong side of town.
MH:"Gosh, what a beaten-up old shack! What do we want here, Uncle Louis?"
Uncle Louis:"Patience, my lad, and follow me inside!"
Inside the beaten-up old shack, MH is amazed to find a vast array of sophisticated scientific apparatuses!MH:"Gosh! Who owns this place? Dr. Jekyll?"
Uncle Louis:"No, my lad-- we do! Here in this lab, I and my collegues have tortured ourselves day and night, searching for a way to rid the earth of the Nazi menace. Tonight, I believe we have the answer!"
MH:"Golly! Do you make bombs?"
Uncle Louis:"No MH, we make potions! Take this one here-- by injesting it, you will become more powerful than any other mortal, and will be our country's first, and greatest hero!"
MH swallows the vial, and is astonished by the changes he undergoes!
MH:"Gee! I must be stronger than a dozen men! Is this magic?"
Uncle Louis:"No, MH, not magic-- science! Science is our greatest defense against Nazis and Communists! Now, you can fulfill your every dream!"
Suddenly, the air was pierced by a terrifying sound!
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
MH:"What madness is that?"
Uncle Louis:"It can only be the Laughing Nazi! Quickly, MH, run to safety!"
MH:"No! I can't leave you!"
Suddenly, the Laughing Nazi himself breaks into the room!
Laughing Nazi:"You Schwein! You schall fall before my power! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
The laughter of the Laughing Nazi begins to drive Uncle Louis mad!
Uncle Louis:"Quickly, MH, kill me, before the madness overwhelms me, and I become a Nazi like him!"
Tear-stricken, MH sees no other way.
MH:"*SNIFF!* G'bye, Unc!"
His uncle dead, MH turns to confront the Laughing Nazi!
MH:"All right, you toad! Now you'll see what a fighting man can do!"
Before the Laughing Nazi could make a move, MH was upon him with a flurry of fists!
Laughing Nazi:"Ooff! Ouch! Schtop! Schtop! I can't take anymore!"
MH:"You deserve it, you rat!"
Terrified of the youth's prodigious might, the Laughing Nazi runs away.
MH:"Come back, you coward!"
Running breathlessly to the docks, the Laughing Nazi summons his U-Boat!
MH:"Good golly! They had a U-Boat, right here in Lake Superior!"
Laughing Nazi:"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Schurrender, Canadian schwein! You cannot defeat the unfettered might of a German schubmarine!"
But MH was not so easily defeated! With a mighty lunge, he fell upon the U-boat and began to tear its hull!
Laughing Nazi:"Ach! Ve cannot abide by this! Releasche the torpedoesch!"
The mighty torpedoes strike MH in the chest, but have no effect!
MH:"Ha ha! That tickles!"
The Nazis realize that all is lost!
Laughing Nazi:"Abandon schip! Abandon schip!"
MH:"You won't get far, you worms!"
The Laughing Nazi tries to run again-- but this time, there is nowhere to go!"
MH:"Take THAT, Fritz!"
And so ends the first senses-startling adventure of MH, 40's Comics Fan!
Be sure to read Rampant American Comics every month for more of this exciting
new feature!